When a small town Colorado minister asked for help in building a site promoting himself so that he might bring more men (and women) to his flock, we jumped at the chance. We met him at a local motor lodge to go over the spec, the room was crummy (coffee maker was busted), but after a while with his devilish good looks and his engaging personality, we had no choice but to give this virile minister eight-inches of a throbbing, powerful, website.

Unfortunately, after we built the hottest most muscular website for Christ's cause ever, our attractive friend Ted Haggard, was tricked by the radical homosexuals, the Hollywood elite, and a Male prostitute into appearing in a photograph along side a meth pipe, a wad of cash, and the hooker's penis. Mind you, he didn't smoke it, and the man he was with happened to be a prostitute who tricked him, but it didn't matter to the Drive By Media, who immediately painted him as a sodomite drug addict.

We know for a fact he was helping that Male Prostitute overcome his deviant ways, and was merely relating to him, so that he might bring him back to the fold. Ted has stepped down from his church, and is now getting a psychology degree over the internet.

If only his wife were performing her wifely duties, this poor shepherd of men wouldn't have had to go searching for other ways to satisfy his needs. Nevertheless, you're in our prayers, Ted, and we promise to crush those evil liberal media elites who framed you into hooker sex with meth on film.

We love ya, man. Call us?